teke, i think its like we're mourning the loss of the relationship and even the person they once were ( although my husband's been an addict since he was 15 so pretty much the whole time we were together he was using on & off). just my theory, i mean mourning starts off with denial right? weren't we all in denial at some point about their using? i know i was, i think i've now progressed to the anger phase, sometimes i'm just plain said but mostly i'm angry.