I think what else keeps going through my head was 9 weeks ago when he was thinking it through and every word he spoke seemed like recovery. He went 13 days straight and then boom, 2 weeks later I was throwing him out again. Sometimes I wonder where is that man who said his family was more exciting, that looked forward to going to bed with me at tonight and getting up every morning watching the turtles? Thats the man whose dead to me, the one im still mourning