I guess it's rarely good news when you abandon you own "check in" thread for a week...
Things havne't been going so well. I'm still "clean", but have been drinking. Not every night, but probably 2-3 nights a week. I think part of it is the desire to harm myself as I really feel that alcohol is more physically harmful than pot. I know that has been the thinking several times when I decided to drink.
Now I'm jonesing for pot like a MF!! I'm really not sure if I'm going to make it or not. I finally saw some movement in the THC levels in my last drug screen, which was good. If I hadn't, I think I probably would have used as soon as I found out. I just don't know why I can't comitt to this. I know it is *ucking up my entire life. I guess I just don't really care that much about my life. The only thing that stops me from killing myself is the thought of what it would do to my son and parrents. I guess it's good that something is stopping me, but the fact that I can't seem to place any more value on my own life than that is depressing.
Sorry, not a particularly uplifting post I guess. Oh well...