(((Katie)))) Each of has grown through addiction. Some of us grew strength to enforce reasonable boundaries. Many of the addicts here have grown confidence and faith that they can get and stay clean. Some of our members have grown compassion and hope.
As we grow, we change. The changes you've expressed sound good and reasonable. The emotions that go with those changes are sometimes difficult, but necessary to go through.
Funny, how we worry about calling our addict an inappropriate name .... while most of us have endured being CALLED names by our loved ones in active addiction.
I pray that as your strength grows, he will see you as someone he can count on to love him enough to continue to say "no".
(((hugs)))