And I'll add a big ME TOO in there as well.
My abf is also quacking that he will get tested- any time, any place because he is clean as a whistle.
I can remember when he was deeply deeply into his addiction and he would still say this to me.
De-ni-al.
I'm also dealing with red flags and it's very difficult. They flagrantly deny everything. They call US crazy and tell us we don't trust them.
My bf yesterday told me he wanted a partner- not a warden.
HA!
Yes- I shouldn't have been so into his recovery as I was... and so ontop of him for it, but in the end I told myself my limit was that if he was in active addiction than I was not going to stay. Red flags that indicate active addiction present me with a choice- go with what my gut tells me or listen to him.
And I do NOT trust myself easily- not at all in fact.
In another forum people have urged me to question- why do I care if he's using? But I just cannot justify accepting an active addiction in my life. That just makes me crazy. I must say that it is very hard though- we are taught and told that they have to want their recovery, we can't control them etc. But it's such a catch 22 then when we are duped yet again by their sneaky ways- there is only so much one can take.