Also, after six months, doesn't a person make a conscious choice to drink?
I don't believe so. It took years for the alcoholism to progress, can you honestly expect someone to be 'well' in 6 months?
Recovery is a long process, I believe the last time, I suggested to you that you listen to his ONGOING ACTIONS not his words. His actions will show how 'sincere' he is about recovery.
You have your own condo. With his history, why would you even consider having a possible life with this man until he has a few years of CONTINUOUS SOBRIETY under his belt. A sobriety that is showing his progress, his acceptance of his responsibilities, his working whatever program he chooses to help him.
Remember it is called AlcoholISM I=I S=Self and M=Me. Maybe, just maybe it is time to take the focus off of him (he obviously contributes nothing to your life but chaos) and put it back on you and your child.
I understand you 'love him.' I understand you would love for your child to have a father........................................but that does not seem possible in the foreseeable future. Why do you feel it necessary to keep this pain going. How about going to some Alanon meetings. How about reading Codependent No More? How about reading Under The Influence.
As to his drinking being a 'conscious choice.' I doubt it. Let's face it, that has been his solution for years to any problem, stress, or upheaval in his life. Of course, he like any good alkie will go for what he/she knows. It took me a LONG time to learn different ways of dealing with: stress, joy, loss of job, getting a new job, loss of a loved one, loss of a pet, etc. I ran to AA meetings. I was miserable. I hung on for dear life.
You say you are at a crossroads, well so is the alkie. Only an alcoholic can stand at a crossroads where one road leads to recovery, a better life and less misery, and the other road leads further into hell, and the alkie will say "LET ME THINK ABOUT IT."
I don't think you have to think about it, I think you want peace and serenity for you and your child. You know what you need to do for you and your child. We know how hard it is. But, please remember, just because you separate now, does not mean that somewhere down the road, he may actually find recovery and you may once again be a family.
Remember, you will not be closing the door on this, you are just putting up the 'Baby Gate' that says Whoa.......................not until your actions show you are in recovery.
Hope the above didn't muddy the waters further for you.
Love and hugs,