I neglected tons of things because of my addicted boyfriend.
There were things I couldn't do, because HE was always broke and couldn't do them (like go visit my family five states away) and I'd feel bad
There were places I couldn't go, because if I was gone, I couldn't monitor what he was doing, whether he was being unfaithful, using, etc.
There were lots and lots of things I couldn't buy myself that I needed, because I "couldn't afford it" (see Ann's post today...thanks Ann!!!)
Funny thing is, if HE needed it, magically I found the money. Loans, a ride, train fare, food, rent, whatever. But if ***I*** needed it - new tires, a new winter coat, a pair of jeans that fit -- all of a sudden it was "Oh, no, things are too tight. I can't afford it."
When I finally realized it, I made myself a list of all of the things that I really, desperately needed for myself, like proper rain gear, an oil change, shoes, a membership at the public rec center for exercise, etc. And every month I'd chip away at it. I would make a ceremony of it, almost: "This I am doing for me." It became a nice ritual, going to get what I needed and treating myself to a good cup of coffee or a used book or a sandwich.
What necessity have YOU guys been neglecting, because your addict has been devouring all your time and money and love?
What can you give yourself this week, to prove to the child inside you that you still love them, and you haven't abandoned them for an addict?
Hugs to all,
GiveLove