itis, i think that its ok to follow your instinct, you'll know when the time comes whats the right thing to do. i think that if they allowed you to have them while they were unable to keep them and they already said that they get them when they are better, maybe they won't try to get them right now if their intentions are not to remain in recovery or began using again. i think time will tell you what you need to know when the time is right. you are a good aunt, maybe you can make sure the oldest one knows how to contact you if they ever need you and continue to do what it is that you are doing. keeping all of you in my prayers.
ray,
i agree with cinder, i wouldn't have know either if i had not given him the chance, i say stick to you boundaries and try not to allow your expectations to run too high. relapse is so common, but he don't have to relapse, its not a law. my ah has had many chances and continue to fall, after being released from structured enviroments too, still i thought that he deserved that he deserved a chance.
they said that i would never do any better too, but as you see for now, that was not the case. so i believe that there is always hope, what you do is your choice. its what you want. i think for now, keep the focus on you and allow time to work this out for you, by the time that he gets out, maybe by then you'll know what it is that you really want to do. keeping him and you in my prayers, i pray that all works out just the way its planned.