i do agree with you finallyout, my ah didn't really ask for anything either while he was in, he thought the same thing about me not having anything. he even went so far as to write letters so as not to run the phone bill up. i thought the same as you and i want to do what i could because i thought first that i would have wanted someone to do that for me if i was in that position. i told him that i did what i did to help him because i wanted to, and that there were no strings attached. before he went to jail, he wanted nothing at all to do with me, i was his problem i guess.
as soon as he got in jail, i became the girl of his dreams again. for the whole time he was in prison, he was such a changed man with a new found sense of spirituality, well thats the part that got to me. i'm a spiritual person too and i knew how god had changed my life so i thought that he deserved a chance too, since he seemed to have definately wanted a chance for us to see how different of a person he had become. made all kinds of promises to me and the kids.
got out, came home and in less than a month, he was bingeing, in and out and in again of jail, finally moved out cause he needed a women who would have his back. oh his addictive behavior began to shine more than ever. even got this huge jailhouse tatoo on his arm with my name in it, to show me how much, i guess, he thought that he loved me and that i was the girl of his dreams.
not to say that this will happen with your ah, just sharing my experience with this jailhouse love affair. i pray that its different for you. i pray that he is serious about recovery and that he will continue to move forward and be the man that he is promising you he'll be. i think that you are doing good to keep the focus on you and allow time to tell you if what he is saying now is what he'll do later. keeping you in my prayers.
i don't mean to disencourage you, i just wanted to share this with you just so you could possibly not have high hopes right now. its his actions that means more that the words thats spoken from jail. i also think that he do deserve the chance if thats what you want to do, but try to make it what you want and not just what he's saying that he wants.