If he has a discomfort with you going, I wouldn't go. The meeting is for alcoholics not for alanon members to impose themselves in. If he were feeling like it was a support measure, fine. If it may discourage him from going, no way would I go. Frankly, it may be a great idea but maybe he isn't ready for it yet.
Vulnerabilites are revealed at these meetings. I wouldn't appreciate an alcoholic coming to an alanon meeting because it would stop feeling like a safe place for me to be. I don't think it's a matter of our rights, I think it's an opportunity to respect each other. Why not run it all past whoever leads the meetings?
This reminds me once of a court date I had to discuss child support. There was a man with my ex husband that I never saw before. As court started, I asked the Judge if I might ask who this man was? My ex chimed right up and said this is my AA sponsor and he's here to give me moral support.
I said to the Judge that my financial arrangements is none of this mans business. There was a time and place for this mans support but it wasn't in court hashing over my personal financial affairs. This is court not an AA meeting. I felt he could be supportive from the lobby. The Judge agreed and sent him out. This man thought he had every right to be there never once considering my end of it.
It made me mad. It never occurred to this man that what was being dicussed was none of his buisness.
If your husband has a discomfort with you going what benfit is your sponsor suggesting will come of it if you go anyway?
I have a growing discomfort with some of this stuff.