Hi Caileesnana,
I have a file folder of similar letters from my addicted son who will turn 20 in a few days. He's been a full-blown addict since he was about 16 or so.
I've noticed a definite pattern in his emotional moods. There are times when he wants to turn his life around and come "clean." He needs to make his reconciliations with everyone and start a new slate. He's managed to try this many, many times, until we basically said, "no more."
He still doesn't want it badly enough.
I don't think any of us are going to ever come to a total "point of peace"...not really...not fully...but we can come to a sense of gratitude that they are still alive, they are still trying and there is always hope for their recovery (as there is for our own).
Trying to rationalize their requests for more...more money, more concessions, more understanding, more help in whatever way...will never work because it simply can't be rationalized.
I think it's okay to say no, especially if you know that the request isn't on the up-and-up. You may never know what the real circumstances were, but some day, you might. Whether you respond "yes" or "no" to any single request probably won't be the deal-breaker to her ultimate recovery.
I've finally learned to say "no" and "I love you" in the same breath.
M