Hey kid.... (hey ur you're only 38, i'm ur senior by five years!!!!)
Oh, you're doing that, all right--keeping it honest. I was struck by it, in truth.
I was struck by a number of things. Maybe this will help you to read. For one, when you said you still want to be able to drink--
boy did that one resonate!! I haven't felt it in soooo long, but I remember it!
So if it helps you to know, one of the promises of sobriety is that it really goes away, man. All craving; all 'bargaining' like you're doing right now. That intrusive desire to escape and get buzzed - it goes too.
I remember those feelings very clearly, because our eligibility to return to hell never goes away.
...Our eligibility card never expires.
So it is with each day that I arise and feel deep gratitude - may sound old but you know what?
Freedom never gets old.
Keep postin', i'll keep a reading -
Ten