dixied, I can certainly feel with you. my ras has 86 days drug free today, he is 22, and my youngest, I have been there for him every step of the way from catching him and forcing sobriety, paying bills for him, paying for rehabs and medicines you name it I did it for him (most of this is pre SR website) anyway, we have always been very close until recently, he now seems to avoid me, instead he'll sit and talk with his father (that almost never happened) when he and I do talk it usually ends up in a debate even over television shows. I don't know exactly what has happened but I came to my own conclusion that he feels that I know him better than he knows himself and because he is trying to get control over his own life now that I must be playing some alfa dog role. I don't say anything because like you I feel as a mother as long as he's sober thats good enough for me. perhaps sometime in the future it'll be discussed, but for now sobriety is just fine and dandy.
so with all this said, try to see the big picture, ( I know it's hard ) but lets face it, we've been through worse haven't we.
we all love ya and respect you and so does your son.