Hi, not sure if we met yet, I'm kinda new here, wish I had a definate answer for you, but I don't. I remember hearing that ALL the time from my AH. I'm guessing that it just depends on the person. I do know a girl who was a crack addict for about 3 yrs and she did just "give it up" one day without any help. She's been clean for 6 yrs now, is a RN and has a great husband and beautiful daughter. My AH said the same thing as your ABF for years, now that hes been clean for 2 whole months he keeps telling me that he does want to go to meetings when he gets out of jail. But I'll believe that when I see it. Hope it helps.
Jenna