Thank you all for responding, and for your advice...
Hearing from you helps to make it real, actually, writing the post and re-reading over and over again, helps to make it real. I don't know why I still "can't believe this is happening to me", denial I guess.
But you are right, I know it, and somehow, deep inside, (or maybe not that deep) I think he knows it too, it's time for this to end.
Thank you so much for you insight hope3, you have confirmed my underlying suspicions, that he is still drinking... but, can I ask you, are the lack of emotions a sign that he is still drinking, or that he is hiding something, or that he really doesn't care, or that the years of alcohol abuse has numbed his emotions to the point of no return? But, like you, and many others have said, I need to concentrate on me, not him, and lack of emotion, is just that, lack of emotion. That should be enough for anyone to want out... and I do.
I signed the petition for divorce today and he should be served tomorrow...
I feel sick