Dixied,
IMO, I would let my son, and his wife deal with the questions of sobriety, and recovery.
What I have noticed lately is my oldest, in his sobriety, calls much more often, and I just try to give him day to day encouragement. I try really hard not to bring up any subjects of recovery, unless he brings the topic up. As for right now, I'm just enjoying the fact I have 2 sons that are sober today.
I had the same "gun shy" emotions you had also. It's very difficult to keep my mouth shut, so I fill it full of jujubees...
Just enjoy the moment.
Hugs,