Hello everyone,
Let me begin by saying I am so grateful for the support you have all shown me, even though I am a total stranger to you. I had no idea how strong and connected this community is, I am in complete awe of all the unconditional warmth you have offered me. You have reminded me to think of ME, something I had forgotten to do for a long time.
After taking all your advice, I had decided to take a break from thinking about addiction. I have been singularly obsessed with researching addiction and supporting him. I've hardly thought about anything else, and it's taken a huge toll on me. I hadn't even realized until you recommended I look at what I need. So, I'll be taking a break from the forum for awhile, and taking a week or so to free myself completely from the environment, and just focusing on ME and relaxing. I think it will do me a world of good. I'm not going to read anything about heroin or addiction, and I'm not going to write him a letter every day. I desperately need some self-indulgence, so I'm going to take it.
There is much more I'd like to say, things I want to talk about like the way I am approaching the immensity of the commitment I may be entering when my boyfriend comes back from rehab. But, right now, instead of focusing on addiction and all its parameters, I'm going to go take a long, hot shower, read a little, and go to bed. I ESPECIALLY shouldn't be so obsessed with supporting him, when I can't even talk to him and he is in a different state. I should be taking this time to recharge and enjoy my life.
I had planned on going to my first NA meeting on Friday, but I'm going to wait another week before I attend a meeting. I'm going to spend my weekend free of the addict environment. On Saturday I'm going to my friend's new apartment and we are going to cook and paint and watch movies together, in a stress-free atmosphere, and I can't wait.
Again, thank all ofyou SO much for all of your advice and support. I am inexplicably grateful for everything you've offered me, and I only hope I can do the same for you at some point.
Many, many thanks to all of you, truly.
-Love and peace