(((jsjam)))
I can here you anger, your hurt, and your pain. I have been there. I understand and so will the others that answers your post. My daughter is now a recovered addict. I have been through what you are going through now with your son. It is one of the worst heartaches a mother can have.
Do you attend any meetings? If not please look into it. It helped me out so much knowing that I was not alone. If you feel uncomfortable at a meeting, keep going to different ones until you find one where you are comfortable.
Read all you can about addiction. The more you learn about it the better you'll be able to handle the situation and learn how to cope with it.
I was emotionally drained, as you are. I started to change my attitude. I began with myself first. Everything I learned I put to work in my own life. It didn't happen over night. It takes time and patience. You'll have your bad days but keep walking forward.
We can't fix them, the only person to help them is themselves. As sad as it is we have to accept this. I pray to my HP everyday (sometimes more) to "Accept the things I cannot change and the Courage to change the things I can." And the thing I can change is myself.
Keep coming back here, we are all in this together and we are here to help you. Your not alone. You, your family and your son will be in my prayers tonight. Hang in there.