((((wendy))))
Honey---I was worried about you not being around much.
You are in a hard situation. Mine started out similar. No drugs till after we were married. Started taking legitimately xanax for severe anxiety and panic disorder, started abusing it etc.....
Its hard. I understand what you mean about not wanting him to be in pain, not wanting him to hurt, but then not wanting him taking pain meds.
RAH and I had the same discussion about xanax. There's no simple answer for what your going through. My answer, that only worked for me, is that I simply could not tolerate him being on xanax and I wouldn't live with it. He could research and I'd even help him do it, on what other options there were. We did, he started trying out those options and so far so good.
Maybe you guys could do a little research on other options for back pain. New treatments come out everyday for all sorts of stuff.
(((wendy))) Just know that no one thinks you look like an idiot enabler. What "earth folk" think of you is none of YOUR business. They don't know your whole story or what goes on behind closed door. Yes, we all may enable at some point but you do what you can live with. Its not us living with your decisions honey, its you. What is said here can be taken into consideration but ultimately, you decide what you want in your life and what you are willing to put up with. We love ya honey and I'm glad you posted.