Originally Posted by sthrnraizd

1. I should never have gotten involved with Him when I did. I was in the midst of my breakup with an Ex and very emotionally needy.
a. He said he loved me when the other did not.
b. He enjoyed me just as I was, when the other did not.
c. He shown me attention and made me feel special again when the other was not.
2. I wrestled with keeping this new relationship, but couldn't call it off.
a. I got emotionally involved with Him
b. I was intimate with Him
c. I felt loved by Him
3. Red Flags
a. I turned away from the Red Flags, (Obsessive-compulsive; Low-self esteem; Anxiety; Depression; Cheater; Alcoholic)
b. I did not know how to deal with these flags so I placed them behind me under the cushion.
c. They didn't matter because He loved me.
4. Breakup Difficulty
a. Abandonment: I think because my parents abandoned me, and my previous relationship ended with the exposure of lies, cheating, etc, , I was placing everything in this man that said I could trust his word. He wouldn't do these things to me.
b. He did those things to me yet I was so insecure by now I stayed trying to get him "fixed" so everything would be OK again.
c. I couldn't get him fixed, it all came crashing down, my last hope, my new savior, was flawed and because of those things that haunted him I put myself in a place to be hurt again. Hurt more than anyone else has ever done.
d. I knew every step I was taking but denied each step as I took it....now that's messed up.
e. If I had taken myself off the market to recover from my failed relationship, I wouldn't have put myself in His path.
f. The unfortunate part is He knew how hurt I was and how much I needed/wanted to be loved. And HE knew (even if he was in denial) he had problems, he even told me as much except for the alcohol. Which actually was the main issue that caused most of the drama we lived.
5. Time
a. I see the importance of time, it allows so much to work itself out, but I/we tend to play with it's hands, or ignore it completely.
b. Time given it's chance probably wouldn't have led me down the road I created.
c. I cheated time out of it's given right to help bring healing, stability, and clarity to my thoughts...
6. Lord Grant me wisdom not to repeat my past!