Oh... man. I saw my first love (our relationship was over 30 years ago) a few years ago while Mr. Big and I were separated. My hands got all sweaty, my heart started racing. He is exactly as gorgeous as he always was. Tall, suave, charming...michevious. And still an alcoholic, I think... though I couldn't tell if he was still actively drinking.
When he smiled at me, I tossed him a wink... and we exchanged some brief chatter.
I was available, technically, as I was divorced from Mr. Big and we hadn't resumed dating, yet. But I could FEEL that this man is dangerous for me and struggled to keep my emotions in check - partly because I recognized my own vulnerability being newly divorced and all.
I am so glad I walked away that day. Mr. Big and I reconciled and have been married for decades, now. I know what deep, long-lasting love is, and I wouldn't mess that up for ANYthing.
... I go out of my way now to avoid my first love's neck of the woods. I don't need the complication in my life, and NOTHING GOOD would ever come of us being together.
Seeing him again helped me understand that how I remembered our relationship was real. But oh man... that smile... that charm.... maybe in another life.
