Okay, let me rephrase this.
That's my personal situation. I see the logic in being with him because of the "stability" but I KNOW I'm not in love with him nor do I have the desire in my heart to be with him. I have no intentions of interfering with his current relationship but these are the random thoughts I sometimes have in my head. Naturally, there is a whimsicalness that I miss sometimes which is where the questions stem from but I know he's not the one for me.
I just decided to share them. The question in its entirety doesn't really have to do with me but is rather a general question "Does your first love ever die?"
But thank you all for addressing my situation, I really appreciate it though I think I confused you guys. . .LOL which is my fault. Sorry