newblue82

It's a little off the subject but I wonder if there's any truth to this? Looking at my own situation, I've only been in two relationships. My first relationship lasted 5 yrs off and on and I THOUGHT I was in love until I met my exAGF. I learned the difference between love and infatuation after my relationship with her. I was "in" love with her but now I simply "have" love for her, naturally, considering all she put me through. I suppose my love for her will never die. I'll always have a concern for her well-being and have a hope that she'll gets\ her life together.

Where am I getting at with this? Well, in my first relationship, the guy I was dating claimed to have been in love with me since jr. high. I didn't believe him until I had the opportunity to look back on our relationship and realize how big a b---- I was to him just because the love he had for me gave him the patience for it. He put up with a lot (not to the extreme I did with my exAGF) but I caused him pain just because I was confused. NOW, I believe he WAS in love with me.

Anyway, I recently emailed him to see how he'd been doing because we hadn't spoken in a while (we had a falling out) and he told me he was doing fine that he was seeing someone who "appreciated" him and he was happy. I admit I took him for granted because he treated me like a princess. For someone so young (22), he had old fashion values on how to treat a lady. My mom was crazy about him for me because he was a "good kid" and she trusted him and still does. So I told her he'd met someone new and she said to me "So what? He still loves you and probably still prays for the day that you'll come back to him."

I told her I felt he'd moved on and couldn't possibly still be "in love with me". I mean I really treated him poorly. She said "Honey, trust me that he'd take you back if he thought you meant to stay with him if it was truly in your heart to do so. But he can't stay single forever and he can't wait for you forever either. What choice did he have but to move on?"

I guess I know that the logical choice for me would be to marry him. I mean look at what all he has going for him making $70,000/yr at the age of 23 with just a B.A in electrical engineering (still planning to pursue he's M.A), attractive, ambitious, owns his own car and own place living in Pasadena, California. He did treat me well (and still does) to the extent that he doesn't want to get too close. It'd be a helluva an improvement from the situation I left! And yet despite how perfect all this is, I'm hesitant. Am I crazy?!

Do these thoughts stem from my wanting to have stability or do they stem from me knowing he's seeing someone else or do I truly have feelings for him? Hell, do I even have a chance! If I'm not still in love with my ex whom I WAS in love with before, why should I think he's still in love with me? I gotta get my head together!