i do understand dixied, maybe try not to feel guilty for what your son had done, it is not a reflection on you. your son made the decisions and you had nothing to do with any of it. i do understand too how your husband feels. sorry that you feel caught in the middle. i'm glad the your son is doing better, and i pray that he continues, maybe in time, the two of them will be able to work this out.
my rah have step children and so do i, and i do understand how that would cause you to feel when their is sort of a problem with the 'steps'. hope i'm not being out of line here.