So sad, and I think you're right on target with what makes addiction so difficult for those who love addicts. While it's my husband and not my child, I'm grieving for the relationship we could have had, for the children I'd wanted to have with him but that now I'm afraid to make, for the life I'd dreamed of...I had a connection and attraction to this man unlike anything else I've ever felt, and it's hard watching him let such a stupid, stupid thing come between us. There's a Fiona Apple song, "Oh Sailor," that has a line in it, "Oh what a thing to know/what could be instead/Oh, what a blessed curse to see..."
That line always tears me up inside. It's awful to imagine all the things that we could have done and how that powerful connection I had to him could have been such a blessing.