OMG! I have tears running down my face - these suggestions are too funny! And the idea of actually doing them is funnier still!
Anything that you can do ahead of time is best. But I do like the idea of hiring a cooking cabana boy who can also massage that other hand and arm that you will be using all the time! With all the wonderful "devices" you have bought, he would be quite an asset!
You knew better than to ask this bunch for advice, didn't you?
Oh, and be sure to remove the "wedgie" before the surgery!
