Cymbalata?
That is a new anti-dep I've never heard of yet. Is it new?
What I am finding the most difficult thing to do is entangle myself from his moods- I suppose it's detachment in a sense that I still need to work on, but I find myself getting sucked back into HIS moods that in reality have nothing to do with me and that I have no responsibility for.
I think that loved ones of addicts suffer from their own denial- not viewing the situation in its full reality.
Ride the wave of your meds out I would say. I have suffered from horrible depression for most of my teenage/young adult life and have taken any and every medication to find one that actually works for me.
While reading your post I kept thinking "ME TOO!" Especially in regards to spending an entire sixty minute therapy session rehashing my abf's non-action or behaviors of that past week.
Most the time when I leave there I have only strengthened the muscle of codependency and my focus on the addict.
It's okay to slide backwards a bit. I have beaten myself up senseless because I've been doing so well, but then experienced a lapse of my clear headed thinking and moving ahead.
Try to take things one day at a time and trust that you are where you are suppose to be in your recovery.
I think the more energy we invest in worrying whether or not we're doing it right- the less we are able to stay in the moment and fully comprehend the present state of affairs.
I, too, have recently awoken to realize that it's going to take ALOT of behavior modification and changing of my reactions to get to the place of self-sufficiency that I long for. I still find myself sucked back into alot of my abf's emotional monsoon.
Manages his money poorly- I can't stand to see him starve. I get angry because I make less money than he does and feel semi-resentful that I must help him (I know I don't HAVE to- I choose to- my "moral code" gets the best of me in this place.) But it's difficult because I somehow feel like if I was a good person I would help him out and not abandon him and turn my back on him.
I also agree that writing down goals will help. Break your major goals into smaller ones- like "Look for an apartment for a half hour today." If we put restrictions on our time to do things- they aren't so daunting and overwhelming when we actually tackle them.
You're doing great.