Mjs -
a couple of points:
1- The bible cannot make you believe in God. And 'delusion of God' cannot make you not believe. No matter what one believes they have faith and there will always be something or someone to challenge that faith. What do YOU feel?? And if your'e not sure, that's more than ok. Someone one said in choosing b/w two options there is really a third choice and that is to 'not to choose b/w the two at all.' Really take a look at how you feel, are you also surrounding yourself by christian music or christian people? Are you still feeling doubtful or are you feeling releived?
2- Try reading the book called "The secret" it's a true concentration on you choice and how to master your thoughts, it's incredible what you can change when you realize how you think. When you learn that you can stop the obsessive thoughts, whether it be about God or weed, you will truley feel empowered. My bf is an addict and since I started reading this I've shared things with him...about slowing down the moment, embracing your thoughts, learning how to change it and then appreciating yourself for making the change. Habits die hard, be patient with yourself. You're in the right place.
Empower yourself to make your own choices! And if you want God's help let Him help, but remember he gave you free will so no matter what the decision is yours.
Best of Luck!