I am also a member of both forums. I read posts from both sides. I have found that these two sites create a balance for me. Crack Reality tells it like it is. Sometimes, it's too painful for me to read, so I go back to the more compassionate and caring SR. Crack Reality shows me the cold hard facts that force me to see my ABF for exactly what and who he has become. I read everything I can find on addiction. I am a recovering co-dependent. My ABF spiraled until the crack took him over completely. He left over a month ago, and I haven't heard from him since. This was a man who was supposed to love me. He wanted to give up using so we could have a life together. The hurt has been unbearable at times. It doesn't seem to be letting up much. Reading SR posts gives me Hope and Faith. Reading Crack Reality makes me realize he did me a big favor by leaving me. I have the book, and it is well worth the money. Like others, I wish I had listened to what people told me and saved myself some misery. I had to find out for myself the hard way. I thought my addict was different, but I am seeing there is not a lot of difference between him and any of the other addicts described in Crack Reality. He is a remorseless con who stole my money, my possessions, and my heart. Here I am now in therapy, putting one foot in front of the other, and trying to pick up the pieces of my life. I was brainwashed into thinking he wanted to recover. I was brainwashed into believing all his lies and manipulations. Today, I started making a list of some of the things he's done that hurt me. When it's all there in black and white, I can't believe I kept loving him and letting him hurt me more, time and time again. I was always so forgiving. I was always just so grateful to have him back home. All he had to do was tell me how much he loved me, swear he was going to get help and give me a little bit of his attention. Nevermind that I had to hide my money, spend many nights alone, pay all the bills, and worry 24/7. Now, I have an enormous amount of debts to pay for all the damage he has done to me financially. All I see is that the Crack Reality people are trying to keep us from making the same mistakes, over and over again, hoping for a different outcome. The only thing different for me is that I feel like a total fool for being taken in by a crackhead. My compassion is slowly going out the window as my eyes are beginning to open to all the destruction he has caused me. I have been in denial for quite a long time, telling myself that what he did to me really wasn't that bad. It was horrible! I was just living in this fantasy world believing he loved me and that he wanted to get better. I know now he just wanted to get better at being a crackhead. He's chasing crack 24/7 now.