So sorry
Helpus - I feel your pain and identify completely. My son is not (to my knowledge) using heroin but he has just been discharged (other than honorably) from the military and it's no doubt from failing a drug test. I can't say his is a relapse since he drank all along but had been off any drugs for a year. I was devastated and that's when I found this forum - a few weeks ago.
He hasn't been processed out and I'm dreading all that is ahead. No matter how hard I try to detach I find myself with a bad case of the "what ifs" when something like this happens. I think it makes me less hopeful that he'll get recovery some day.
For whatever it's worth - you have my prayers not only for your child but for you - to help you get through all the pain of watching a loved one suffer with addiction.
I remember this saying I read somewhere;
Let everything happen to you;
Beauty and terror.
Just keep going.
No feeling is final.
I need to remember when I get that gut wrenching anxiety that it won't last. Good things will happen. Different things will happen....just wait.
Jeanne