Welcome to SR! Sorry you had to meet us in this way, but you will find lots of people here to give you support. Please read the "stickies" at the top, especially "What Addicts Do". You didn't do anything wrong to make your son turn out like this. It just happened when he tried drinking/drugging. Some switch came on in his brain and said "Hey! This is great! Let's do it all the time, no matter what!". And then it was off to the races. Remember the 3 C's: you didn't Cause it, you can't Control it, and you can't Cure it. If there are any Al-Anon meetings or Nar-Anon meetings in your area, please go to one as soon as you can. They will really help you. I am not a Mom, but I know that you must be feeling an immense amount of pain and anguish. There are lots of other Moms on here and I know they will be along soon to talk to you.
Hugs & Prayers
Sandy
PS About your husband's behaviour, a lot of men are like that: holding emotions in.