Earthworm's post reminded me of this:
Hedda Nussbaum’s Red flags, First hand advice on how to spot an abuser, or at the very least a controlling man with a capacity for abuse:
1. He pushes too far, too fast, planning your future together right away
2. He hates his mother and is nasty to her
3. He wants your undivided attention
4. He must always be in charge
5. He always has to win
6. He breaks promises all the time
7. He can’t take criticism and always justifies his actions
8. He blames someone else for anything that goes wrong
9. He’s jealous of your close friends, family members, and all other men
10. He always asks you where you went and whom you saw
11. He has extreme highs and lows that are unpredictable
12. He has a mean temper
13. He often says you don’t know what you are talking about
14. He makes you feel like you’re not good enough
15. He withdraws his love or approval as punishment
16. He pushes you to do things that make you feel uneasy, like taking the day off from work or even breaking the law.