Originally Posted by
cmc 
Welcome to SR,
I'm glad you decided to come by and share your story here.
His behavior towards you does not 'come with alcoholism.' He is abusive.
I urge you to read the stickys marked 'abuse' on the top of the forum page- his behavior will escalate and you need to be prepared.
Please stop and think of how you would feel if a sister or bestfriend of yours was being treated this way... what you say to her?
He accuses you, is cruel to you- blames you and then tells you that YOU are not allowed to cry? You don't need to be strong 'for him' you need to be strong for yourself.
Is he the kind of person you want to have a family with? No child deserves to live with that behavior...and it will be directed to kids just as easily as it is to you now.
I hope you will keep coming back here to share about how you are doing- I know that you may have a hard time accepting these replies but I hope you will keep an open mind and know that many here have been in your situation.
Drop him like a bad habit. He will most likely get worse as he trys to control your life. And make no mistake...thats where he is heading. He wants you to yeild to his demands, dictate who you see, who you talk too.
"Then once he has you cut off from friends and family.....he will move to physical abuse.
So get out while you still can. Find someone who will treat you like you deserve to be treated." GuyInNC
GregsGirl Welcome to SR! Keep posting and coming back!
Reading your post was like looking into a mirror for me! CMC could not have put this any better-"His behavior towards you does not 'come with alcoholism.' He is abusive." It is hard to hear and I know this...I use to say "BUT I love him" "BUT I think he is going to stop now he knows I'm serious" "He is in therapy now I know this will work" I was blind and too busy allowing his disease suck me into every free minute and moment of the day and take away from my life, my responsibilities-until one day I woke up and said what am I doing to myself? That was the day I was dragged down the stairs on my back (I have two disc herniations) among many other things in the past with him-I got help for me and left him in the wind-after trying so many times to direct him towards seeking help-he made his choices and I made mine. It is unacceptable behavior and trust me as cmc states it so perfect which took me years to realize "it does not come from the alcoholism."
My x A hit rock bottom in the same manner that you are stating but actually hit rock bottom 5 more times-and he is still drinking so there has been no bottom for him-we see it as hope that the hit bottom and create these things in our head-that just creates more drama and chaos that is not warranted.
Hon trust me-we all want to stick by someone that we love that is going through this terrible disease (as my brother is too) but when they are abusive run the other way-trust me from expierence and what cmc said!
BIG HUGS and keep posting here-everyone is great in here and will support you. It may not always be what you want to hear but trust me in the long run you will be glad for what you read! Find a Al-Anon meeting for yourself they work wonders!!