man, KC, I don't believe *anyone* is a loser...but I've met a few folks who skid a whole lot closer to it than you do...
you're not hopeless, and you haven't let any down (outside yourself and your own expectations anyway)
it's tough, it's hard, and we've got this little part somewhere inside us that'll find any excuse, any reason, any rationalisation to drink...it's a long road to hoe, a long battle to fight, and we're all still on it, everyone of us.
I cahnged my sig recently - I really really believe it BTW - you *can't* lose if you're still in there fighting.
keep posting !
D