I don't know hard evidence about this, but it sure makes sense to me. I know that I am always attracted to the "bad boys" that I feel like I can change....don't know if I feel like by making them change that proves that they love me enough? Does anyone know why I seem to gravitate to these people? My ex-husband was not an Alcoholic, did not even drink at all, had no desire to. He was good to me and good to the kids, but for some insane reason which I still don't understand, while I did love him, I was not happy, I was bored. Our marriage failed mostly because of this. Since then, I have been attracted to the ones who everyone tells me is an ass. It's like I have to prove them wrong or something. Why do I do this? As far as the other comments, I was reading somewhere about what is called a "functional alcoholic" They are able to hold down jobs, etc. While this may be a good thing in some ways, I think it also gives the A justification. I know mine always says "I am not an alcoholic, I get up and go to work every morning." Is this normal? I am just so confused right now. I am planning on going to my first face to face Alanon meeting tomorrow night. Until then, I am just trying to hold on, and trying to make it through and understand why I am so set on controlling my environment. Any ideas or comments would be much appreciated. Thanks