dear Puddin,
I am a mom of an addict and I also went through a 12 months program way back when, There are so many ways to get clean and sober and just as many ways to support our kids. One thing that really helps me is '" the language of letting go" by melody beatty. It's a warm and loving reminder of how important we are but it also is my reference guide when I feel like you do, or when I just don't know what to do, think, feel or say.
Grief is a very natural bi-product when a big change like yours is going on. Nothing wrong with those feelings at all. I also think long term programs are like a time out. At least it was for me. I needed off the merry go round and a 28 day program wouldn't have worked at all. Take good care of yourself.
Leslie