Laura, Welcome back. When 5 o'clock rolled around for me there had better not be anyone in my way of drinking,and I was not happy till I has 6-7 in me to settle my nerves. Then I could start some serious drinking.
Man what a terrible disease. I look back I can not emagine living like that. Admitting to my wife that I had a problem was the hardest thing for me, because of all the lies I had told her. How I did not have a problem. I could quit any time. If she only new the full extent of my drinking she would have had me locked up. Any way when I told her I was quitting and starting AA it was like a huge weight was lifted of me. So hopefully this will happen to you when you tell your friends. Good luck.