Money and enabling
Oh how hard it can be when things seem "okay" for this moment...
ABF has always been TERRIBLE with his finances (I know, I know, when drugs are involved- what addict knows how to manage their money?) and prior to today I have always lent him money. If he barrows money from me during the week- he does pay me back on his next pay day (something else I think he use to justify his drug usage. He wasn't stealing/taking money from me so... his problem musn't be that serious).
The issue now isn't even the focus on the drugs, it's more the enabling I feel I've been doing that has prevented him from taking responsibility for himself. It feels deeply difficult and uncomfortable for me to let him suffer his own consequences. As I am sure is normal, my inital reactions is to run to his rescue. Not to protect myself. It's almost like an itch I am dying to scratch.
Funny thing is that he's never asked me for money. Silly me has always offered it to him. We do not have any of the same finances, nor do we live together, but I've always found myself running to his rescue when he has twenty dollars to live off of for the rest of the week. I can't very well have him staying at my house starving... It just feels inhumane. Just kind of wanted to vent/see what other's opinion on this subject was.