My 20 year old daughter is my addict. My husband and I enabled her addiction for over a year while making all kinds of excuses for her behavior. When she started living with a 37 year old man that I knew was a crack addict that is when we stopped trying to save her. Even though we no longer enable her, he makes a lot of money and buys all her drugs. With such a good deal, we don't expect her to hit bottom for a long time. In the meantime, we do not give her any money or any kind of material support. We tell her that we love her and will offer her a ride to rehab if and when she wants it. The biggest thing you can do for her is to take care of yourself. Let her take responsibility for her own addiction and for her recovery when she should want it. I think it is wonderful that you are supporting your son-in-law in this. Many parents still enable after the spouse gives up. Sending mom hugs and prayers, Marle