His recovery first, you cannot begin to rebuild a relationship with an addict,until he is in the latter stages of recovery.
All your post revolve around the same issue, instant gratification, it does not work that way, he needs to focus solely on him, his recovery. And you need to focus on your recovery, then when you both are better and further along in your recoveries, you can start the rebuilding process. It is his rehabiltation not yours, work on you, go to those meetings by yourself, get emotionally healthy.
I know I sound like a broken record, but you too must get healthy before this relationship has a chance....give him some space, stop trying to control everything, let the professionals do what they are trained to do and do something positive for you.