i too think big sis is right. i hated to give up all the power with my as. looking back i really didnt have any anyway, it was all in my mind. he uses drugs anyway, and i am , in reality,, powerless over it. its really up to him. its like his counselor in rehab said you can't build a wall high enough to keep them from using if they want to. the truth is he cant stay sober without those meetings. theres a sticky at the top that i printed and put on the fridge yesterday, that deals with this. it called property lines i think, its very intresting reading for people like me.