Excellent questions...excellent responses!
Why do we allow it?
It's similar, but yet different for each of us I think.
In my case, I would have to say that the turmoil I found myself in was the direct result, or consequences of all my previous choices and actions. How I was raised was also a huge part of it....the lessons learned and unresolved issues from my childhood (which still haunt me from time to time, even today) helped mold me into the person I was and the choices I've made.
When it finally got to be too much, when I finally realized that the choices I had made could end up literally killing me, is when I sought out and was willing to do whatever it was to change that. For me, it was not only getting out of an abusive relationship with my exab, but taking the time to understand how I got involved with him, and the reasons why I stayed with him for as long as I did. I needed to understand so I would NOT REPEAT the same pattern. I had to look at me on the 'inside'. I was finally ready!
There are many success stories here. I think, just like in the news, the bad gets more publicity than the good. I've watched people come here, torn up into little pieces, and put one foot in front of the other and have moved on with their lives....healthier lives! I don't want to name names, but there's a lot!!!
Not to pat myself on the back, but I feel like I'm one of those success stories, but still with a long way to go. I'm safe now. I'm in control of my life and my choices now. I make the best decisions that I can with the knowledge that I now have. Sure, something may come along and upset my apple cart and send me back to undesirable thoughts and behavior. But, if that happens, it's only temporary. I have tools now that I didn't have before that helps me to analyze the situation, identify my mistakes, learn from it and move on.
I think that each time we reach out and ask for help, or share, or vent, or offer someone else encouragement and comfort, we are one step further along in our journey to a happier, healthier life.