i choose to do what dolly said, jumping in and out. i finally decided that i would set boundaries that i could stick to, like no bingeing. i began to seperate myself emotionally beginning with excepting the fact that relapse is so common and no matter what i did or didn't do, he was gonna do what he wanted to do anyway, i lowered my expectations to next to none and worked out a plan b, just in case i couldn't take no more and have to seperate myself physically. i began to completely focus on me, and not him. i decided that it was all about me, how i felt and how i wanted to live my life, with or without my husband.
i ended up seperated physically, but he also ended up reaching a bottom and ending up in rehab again. this time he knows that i come first and that if he wants a life with us, he has to honor the boundaries, and contnue to work on him. today his is clean and sober, i think, but if things change, i have no problem seperating myself again. today, i love me more than i love him. keeping you and yours in my prayers