pretty new to al anon - my experience is completely different - it's bringing my family so much closer because we learn to focus on ourselves and the things we can change - regarding ourselves - it takes away the futility - i, myself would NEVER want to understand what it's like to be an addict - it makes my head spin to even try and imagine what goes through an addicts head - but al anon has taught me that it makes no difference what's going on with the addict - i have no control over anyone other than my self - when i worry about myself the rest of my life falls into place - it is a blessing for my family - and my family is my life - but now my life is more in balance because i'm putting effort into myself - still spend almost 24/7 with my family but with a whole new way of thinking - a wonderful way of thinking - as someone above mentioned - it's like having cancer - unless you've been through that experience you can't imagine what it's like - and that's ok - but you can never judge others for feeling the way they feel - it will come back to bite you in the a$$...
take what you like and leave the rest...
love,
s