Tiff....it was not your fault and could never be your fault no matter what he says. i don't want to sound like I am shrugging off the severity of the situation, I'm not, but really that was manipulation at its best coming out from desperation. It really upsets me that he used his attempt to get at your emotions. You do not hold his life in your hands. He is the creator of his own destiny. I am sorry for the emotional roller coaster you are probably going through right now.