Hmm... Again I'm still very new to all of this ~ but it sounds like manipulation. As if you are to be on high alert at all hours of the morning (and day for that matter) that he may be close to harming himself. I think that typically the addicts STILL do not want to take responsibility for their actions. They are STILL trying to grasp at others to camoflage their issues and make others feel they are responsible for any discomfort or wrong the addict feels.
Don't beat yourself up about not being there. You are human. Think about how many "errors of judgement" and "behaviors" you accept from your addict simply because that is what addicts do... We have to learn to be less harsh on ourselves- it's part of being gentle to ourselves- a huge component of self-care which many of us who have historically discounted our feelings anda needs find it uncomfortable to do. It's odd that we feel we need to dwell on our mistakes for a certain amount of time- as if that is some sort of penance- in order to move on. Most importantly- did you have fun that night? Were you having a good time until you found out that news? If you were then his suicide attempt (and I do not mean to downplay this in the LEAST) allowed any positive or enjoyable parts of hte night to be replaced.
I am learning that it is a pure waste of energy to focus and dwell on the past. (I know, easier said than done!) When I am caught in my past mistakes or errors in judgement (and they are MANY) it paralyzes me in the present and prevents any sort of growth. I think that like FEAR, Dwelling on the past is also a very powerful, negative force that serves only to debilitate us in the present and prevent us from living our lives FOR TODAY in the best possible way we can.
Be gentle with yourself. You have been through a tremendous amount presently AND in the past. You deserve to give yourself a break.