Rose,
You're not alone! I, too, have problems dealing with any kind of conflict. My sickness has made me to ANYTHING just to avoid it. I get anxiety attacks (shaky and shortness of breath) when faced with any kind of conflict and I literally cannot THINK. I also get extremely tired and just want to run away.
I don't know the answer to this other than to see your HP's help to make you strong. Sometimes instead of being depressed, I can make myself angry so that it's all I think about and it won't go away until I do something about it.
Just a couple of thoughts. I definitely understand how hard this is on you. I struggle with this all the time. You're right in that it's easier with your kids - after all they will still love you as you will always love them. We don't always have that same feeling with others that are close to us.
Big hug for you and a prayer for strength!!
Kitkat