Martha, I am glad you joined us and sorry for your pain. It sounds to me like somehow you have become the hub of the wheel of communication in your family, the central place where everyone gets the information about everyone else. No wonder you are feeling frustrated and overwhelmed.
You don't have to remain in the middle. Decide what feels comfortable for you and set boundaries on anything more. Once they learn that you mean what you say, they will stop dropping their loads on you.
We are powerless over others and our lives have become unmanageable....but they don't have to stay that way if we communicate our boundaries clearly.
Hugs