Dixied,
Yep, MYOB...and do it for your own good as well as for your son. He's a grown man. If anyone needs to be concerned with his life, it's his wife, not you. But even she needs to remember those 3 C's Big Sis mentioned. Btw, does the wife go to meetings? If not, I'd recommend she go to Al Anon, too.
My Al Anon sponsor gave me a great example of how to determine if something is or isn't my business. Said take a hula hoop and drop it over my head and let it fall to the fall. What is INSIDE the hula hoop is my business. What is outside, well.......leave it alone. Easy to say, hard to do but I've found my life goes so much better when I keep the focus on me and my recovery and quit trying to run everyone elses life or just to know what is going on in their life.
And guess what? My family likes it so much better that way. I just find it so strange that they don't want me all up in there business. What is wrong with them?????????
: Ok, so nothing is wrong with them. The problem happened to be ME. (Ouch, that hurts.) But now that I've realized that, I love not being caught up in the drama of everyone elses life. It frees me up to have a great life myself.
Hang in there, dixied. There is life after rehab for both your son and you....a good life if you keep working the program.
Hugs,
Hangin' In