I think you're wonderful to be able to share these warnings with other people, Faith, so they won't hit the same traps. That's how we get ahead out here: by sharing what we've been through.
Do you really want to spend your Sunday driving around looking for crackhouses? What will you do if you find him? Or if you see him going into one? Are you willing to get yourself raped or killed in the name of knowing what happened to him?
I realize the not-knowing is maddening for you, but putting yourself in danger like that......really think about what it is you want to get out of actions like that. Is it to help you move on? Is it to help you get him back? (What else do you have to steal, break, or ruin?) In your head, you have some fantasy vision of what will happen if you look for him successfully. What is it? Are you proud of it?
Love,
GL